I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
