I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
