i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
