girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.