Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together