She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
