dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
