ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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