Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My life is pants optional.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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