The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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