That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
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There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
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there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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