i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
