You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
