i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
