So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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