from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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