I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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