I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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