um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
