Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
