508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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