I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
