did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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