Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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