Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
