Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
