I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
NoShamevember. You game?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize