you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
