Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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