i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
