If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize