Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
