Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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