It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
