People in love make me want to vomit
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize