He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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