It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
