It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
