dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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