His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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