I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
