he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
