god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
