the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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