Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
