Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We don't watch enough power rangers
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize