i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I haven't been this sober since birth.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
