that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
