we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
