playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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