Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
