I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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