It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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