You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
