I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
