the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
