Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
