how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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